Monday, January 4, 2021

A look back at my self-expression milestones and where they leave me

After writing the last post which was honestly written in a moment of feeling blah, I went back and read my January 1st post from last year. I had set out with a few goals around self-expression and had taken on a new project: network programmability. With this new chapter, I had set myself some personal and professional goals. 

Surprisingly I hit all of my goals in the self-expression category! Well maybe not too surprising, because I very consciously worked on them over the year. I hit many of my goals for self-expression, most notable being my technical blogs at work and my family blogs. I always have a soft spot for this blog, but no-one in IRL reads it, and I think it's still a bit too raw and journal-like. But I love it nonetheless. The professional blogs were a joy to work on, and I learnt so much from the process. I really enjoyed writing them and was able to promote my work, my company, technology and myself. I am hopeful that those efforts are still helping me during my current search.

This brings me to my word of the year. I was toying around with positivity, self-assurance and confidence. I hesitate to use the first and last among these words because of my anxiety. What if I state that from here on I'm a positive and confident woman - start practicing it - and get cocky and bam! some misfortune hits. See how my anxiety works? So self-assurance is sort of the safe word there that lets me get the idea across but still keeps me grounded, like it's a good quality to have for ourselves. Where I really want it to go is 

-- To be more carefree around my family. To let them see me laugh, to stop obsessively worrying (yes, worries will be there), to let burdens roll off my back a bit more easily and to stop taking on others' baggage. 

-- To feel empowered at work. I really hope that this is something that works out for me. I am seeking it out but it is also very situational in nature.

-- To let myself enjoy things a bit more. Find more pleasure in the activities we do and the good moments. Make the highs feel higher, essentially, so I can ride on them for longer.

-- To continue yoga and breathing because that's what it's all about.

-- To read and learn a ton because knowledge and diligence are extremely empowering to me and drive me forward.

-- To keep regular stock of things I've made progress on to feel more self confident. 

-- To work on a cleaner and more organized home. I think storage space and organizing is where I need to focus this effort on.


With that, let's bid this post adieu and hope that I can tackle these tasks one by one.

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