A lot has happened since my last post.
Here in the US, there is a new administration and the relief we are feeling is only now showing in our stress levels. Yes, there's an extent to which politics is not in tune with our daily struggles, but for the most part, the things that this President is doing are very reassuring and in the right direction. The daily stress from all of that is no longer there, which lets us focus on other things...which brings us to:
The pandemic. With all the lockdowns in our area the cases are going down, however just today I read that the CDC forecasts a spike in March due to all the variants. Meanwhile many people in my family threw caution to the wind and gathered with no precautions in India - which affected me even though I'm so far away. It's very weird reconciling these feelings. Some of us are extremely isolated even though we don't really like it, and we choose to continue to isolate. And I worry that the small allowances we give ourselves for things we deem necessary (like a nanny for a few hours in a day to let us focus on work), may be the risk that gets us. It's really hard to have to worry about all of the exposure, while so many don't bother and don't seem to be affected. It's the Murphy's law and fear of what will happen to us careful ones...
On the home front, our dear nanny and friend is now safely with her family and we miss her so. We've identified someone to join us but it won't be for a few more weeks. This also works out for us since we planned to be extra prudent during February to mid-March - I always pay special caution to this time of year since flu shots are wearing off, people have winter fatigue and illnesses float around, even pre-Covid.
I started my new job and it's actually been quite a relief. I didn't realize how much I didn't like the phase when I wasn't working. I think I'm someone that needs to be working, at least at the present time in my life. I realized from talking with many prior colleagues what a big step forward my new job is from what I was doing and that's quite empowering. Maybe the reasons I shared in my previous post were holding me back from appreciating it (and those reasons are still valid), but I think I feel a lot better about the job situation even though the position I'm in isn't ideal in a few ways (nothing major, I think most companies have a few things that take getting used to).
So things are moving along. The kids are doing okay but it's quite a bit of effort taking care of them - they act out since they realize that our focus is elsewhere. Sometimes I wonder if we should just give in and focus on them, kind of let work take a backseat. But then my ambition and drive and interest in work comes back (same with my husband) and we get sucked in - I think since both of us enjoy our work, there's always that new idea we want to explore and we can't really disconnect.
A friend commented today that I look like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders and indeed it is, with my new job. It's actually in an area that I really like - I'm just wondering (and hoping) that I am able to step into it and take off - something I've been trying to do for a really long time and not completely succeeding at. We'll see where this one goes.
Oh, and back to the title of this post. Today was a nice pleasant warm day and I was sunning myself in the garden, when my daughter remarked "Mom, you look like you're at the beach". After many weeks of rains, the sun poked out again. I think that we have at least a week of sunny days ahead of us. There have been some high levels of humidity and strong winds that remind us we are still in winter and also continue to be in dark times. Just learning to appreciate the pockets of light in between. And of course, the fact that we are in California means that the winter is relatively mild to begin with.
My arm pain has returned (ulnar neuropathy and tendinitis) and ouch is it painful. Trying to go along and hope it eases off on its own. I finished the 30 days of yoga diligently and have stopped since I started the job...have to figure out a way to resume once we are in a regular schedule again.
