Another day, another year

Today is a new day, and I am trying to be more positive and to stay inside our bubble a little bit.

Tomorrow (the 25th of March) is the festival of Ugadi which marks the new year for us. With my anxiety, I don't like to say the usual phrases of hope for a new year out loud, because it is just another day and another step forward to me. But I like to mark the occasion and note it down since it is like finishing a chapter of a book or drawing a line at the end of a writing exercise, and turning the page and starting afresh. There's also an element of curiosity about what the new page has to offer.

I feel like as a blogger, I am expected to write a detailed post about the significance of Ugadi and its traditions, along with all the decorations and special treats I prepared with a few beautiful pictures to give my dear readers a bit of a cultural introduction to the festival. But I will just leave you with the Wikipedia entry, which I didn't even bother to read myself. Because, lazy. And also a bit cynical as you can probably tell :)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugadi

Ugadi to me is greeting my family members. Maybe wearing new clothes while I was growing up, and looking forward to a fresh start. A few traditional delicacies to enjoy and a puja were a key part of the day. In my home and especially in the current circumstances, it is going to involve lighting my lamps (a ritual that I enjoy), playing a devotional song and wishing my family. Oh, and I will eat only vegetarian food on this day.

Side note: On that thought, I am grappling with the idea of giving up all meat. I am so conflicted since I feel hypocritical to criticize certain meats while consuming others (chicken/eggs in my case). But I think I am headed in the right direction and will eventually get to the place I want to be with respect to my diet.

Just like at the beginning of the calendar year I looked at some of my goals, I would like to reflect on my goals today.

My new year goals of self expression are going quite alright. I don't seem to have the hesitation of sharing my thoughts that I used to have before. Writing and posting comes far more easily and naturally. I am quite satisfied with my WordPress site and its progress. I do need to work on rambling less and being more clear with my writing.

I could do more on the network programmability aspect and learning and sharing content there. But our work life balance has been through the ringer these past few weeks. I think the main thing is to keep the important balls rolling with work. I would like to further these goals however, since it frustrates me to think of myself as one of those people who switch from one task to another and keep taking on new ventures without following through on anything.

I realized that I am never going to be one of those social (media) butterflies, and I am okay with that.
I am hopeful that our work will start to see our worth not just by our self promotion on social media, but more by what we can actually contribute. I would like to work in an environment that draws out my potential again.

Well, that was a welcome digression from the usual thoughts and worries of our current situation. Now to get to my goals for the Ugadi new year:

- Embrace the lifestyle of working from home and being with kids: this is what I wanted. I've always wanted to spend my days with my kids and to work on something I'm passionate about and I have a chance at both. I realized that my area of work is very important, and my current project excites me. In a way, it's exactly what I was wishing for.

- Enjoy the fact that my way of living is the way of living currently - I like to remain (mostly) my natural self when it comes to my beauty routine. A few things that I never really invested the time in - hair coloring, manicures and pedicures, clothes and make up. All of that isn't relevant at this time. The things that I do like to work on for my appearance are still possible to do while staying at home - things like epsom salt foot soaks, drinking hot water with lemon in the morning, lavender oil baths, eating healthy, going for walks, yoga and meditation, sunlight in the morning sun, etc. You know, those annoying common sense things which you read about in health journals when you're looking for that miracle cure for your acne or whatever... I actually like doing them!

- Discipline : this whole thing of managing our work, kids and the home at this time can only be done with real discipline. I want to start with little habits and make them big ones so that I can continue to knock things off my to-do list (I'm looking at you, Network Programmability)

- Get baby to STTN: That stands for "sleep through the night" if you're not familiar with lingo in parenting forums. For the past five years, I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding at all times. I would like to continue with breastfeeding (though I'm currently going through some rather annoying challenges) for another year. But, I am ready to be done with night feedings and night wakings. I really want to cut the cord from sleeping with the baby and feeding at night. I will have to enlist my husband's help for this, most likely. But maybe STTN will bring in a new "me" if I am able to get back into my own (kid-free for the most part) bed, and get a chunk of sleep at night. I haven't had more than a five hour stretch in years, and on average it's two to three hours that I sleep at a time.

- Get to a healthy body weight : I've lost a ton of weight this past year. I now weigh 17 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight five years ago. I enjoy not having to worry about my weight, but I want to be sure that I am getting enough calories and that my body is strong (something about losing weight and feeling weak and tired isn't a good combination). I also know that I will gain back some weight when I stop breastfeeding and I worry that it will be a lot. So I want to make sure that I have my exercise and eating habits down, and I am already well on my way there.

I think that's about it for this Ugadi. I am looking forward to lighting my lamps tomorrow.