Honesty

This is my space where I can honestly and earnestly share my state of mind.

Honestly? I am terrified. We are hearing of people in our community being affected by Covid and passing. It is hitting really close to home. How is the trajectory going to go? Why did it get this bad?

How much of a lee way will we get with our work? How long before our employers come cracking down with job cuts or whatever lies ahead of us? Add that to our financial worries.

I am worried for everyone I know including my family and am just not able to get on board with the quarantine vacationers. You know, the social media portrayed version of it. The same people who post statistics and research about social distancing and then go out to parks and beaches and are oh-so-thrilled that they found their deserted and secluded beautiful spots. Yes, the whole lot of us would love to enjoy them as well but we are staying put at home, which is probably why some (not all) of these spots appear to be secluded. Besides, how many crowded beach areas and parking lots did they drive through to find those few minutes of seclusion that is appropriate for social media bragging posting? Weren't those just carefully chosen pictures that made sure there were no other people in the frame? These sorts of things tempt more people to attempt the same.

I wish people would learn to truly stay at home. Not go out every other day to the store to pick up an "essential" item. Not go out to county parks and hike and run and visit beaches. I am sure this is adding to the exposure at gas stations when these people have to fill up, and maybe use a public restroom or make a stop for food at a different location on the way. What happens if they have car trouble along the way, and have to call for roadside assistance and engage mechanic services for a trip that was recreational to begin with and not classified as an essential activity? And of course "shelter in place" in Santa Clara county does not mean "go to the beach in Santa Cruz county" - I thought this was pretty clear as well.

There are also those that think that staying at home with a family member or friend for a week is sheltering in place, and it is not. I also hear of parents who think it's society's problem to keep their kids entertained or to enable their fitness activities that they "need" for their sanity. Let's really take a close look at what our needs and wants are, though. I am well aware of the fact that running and hiking are a lot of people's exercise routines and a way to stay healthy and positive. I am not minimizing mental health and the need to take care of it. This just doesn't seem to be the way to do it during these difficult times. I think many of these people can stay bored (and quiet) at home and be okay mentally. We have to try to take care of our mental health at home in other ways, and use these outings really as last resorts for the few who really need them. For those who really need the outlet of being outdoors a lot for their mental health, unfortunately we are between a rock and a hard place. The more disciplined we are now, the more chance we have to be able to do those things again.

But even putting all of this aside, I don't know if anything we do is really enough since so much of it is up to chance.

I am worried, and don't really feel the positivity from all those community movements such as "Holiday lights in March", sidewalk chalk messages, window artwork, and all of those cutesy art and creative projects people do at home.

Just please, I hope our authorities are able to get all the supplies together. I hope the healthcare workers are safe and that researchers are able to find a vaccine and a cure. I hope we can get through the day to day and take care of our mental health.

These are dark days, and I am feeling down.