A few priceless moments

All of us go through mental conflict regarding various things. Sometimes, it is a matter of convenience versus ethics. Sometimes it boils down to picking our battles, and we have to decide whether certain things are worth voicing our opinions about. And often, we spend a lot of time going back and forth in our minds about how to tackle an annoyance or disturbance in our lives.

There's been a lot on my mind lately, and the overarching themes over the past few years have been health (self and family) and career, with finances tied in to the latter. That does not mean that I am not allowed to let other things bother me along the way. Yes, in the larger scheme of things, these minor annoyances are not important. But they seem to fester and linger and build up over time and we need to face them at some point as well. Because ultimately, we do not want them to affect the big things we care about.

Recently I came across some PR articles about women at my job. This is something that I have a lot of opinions on. While my opinions may be relatable, they are also unpopular. My company featured spotlights on a few women employees for International Womens' Day. This is good because there needs to be equal pay, equal rights and a lot more done to promote a healthy working environment. What is absolutely not ok is the women they are featuring. They are mere spokespersons and yes-women who are positive press for the company, and are clueless about doing actual work and the struggles faced in the job world, because they have had it easy. So easy.

Let's stop for a moment. This is when those that criticize stuff like this get chastised themselves. "Damned if you do, damned if you don't". "You can't please everybody". "Sour grapes". "Resentful, much?". "Women are women's worst enemies". "Shouldn't you all be supportive of one another?". "What does this woman have stuck up her a**?" "Haters gonna hate". You get the drift..

Well, this rant is not against the women that are being featured. I might not like them, but that's besides the point. It is really the system I am against, not the individuals. I might think they are free riders and full of fluff, but it is not them I resent the most. It is the employer that values them. The PR that picks these women who've had it easy, and further enables them. The superior attitude that is then exhibited by them and the rest of the establishment. The recent feature for example was of someone who was in the company for less than two years (with two separate stints in a short time), taking full advantage of the "system" and milking it, and whose method of giving back was to be all praise about the company. When the going gets tough, these employees are gone. Why do we reward these behaviors? Why is it taboo to speak out against it? And most importantly, how can we get our voice heard and keep it real for a moment? I suppose the onus is on us to stop hiding behind our anonymity in obscure blogs and to speak up. So that's what I'll do in my own little way, continuing to plod on cautiously in all other areas. But I did want to say my piece so it's at least out there in the inter-webs and not eating at me on the inside.

Before I end, I want to say a few positive things. This is what makes me really proud, happy and thankful to be a woman, a networking professional and a productive member of society. Yesterday, when we were goofing around on the bed, my daughter remarked "Mama, you have best. You really have best, Mama!". I asked her what she meant. She said "I mean, you're the best mama. Even when you're sick, you're always doing something. The best!" Wow, do I need any external accolades from anyone at all, after that testimony? I wish I had it easier in my career (by far), but I wouldn't trade places with those other people for the world. This morning, I received a second testimony from my husband, who was overjoyed to see me and for me just being there. And later in the day, my son heard my voice from across the room and bellowed a deafening "MAMA!" as he dropped his toys and ran at full speed towards me into my arms. I feel so empowered. So cherished. That I am worht so much more than I imagined. And so much a woman.

Now, just because my family validates me does not mean I should settle for less in my career. It does not have to be one or the other. I believe that I have lurking hidden potential to rise in my career. I am just not sure about how, when, and where I will be able to do it. All I need to do at this point is to keep that faith, and keep working on moving forward remembering that every little bit counts. I do want to make the cut professionally. If not for anything else, my ambition and determination combined with my patience and endurance could help me get there. While I might feel that everyone else around me has it easier than I do with their professional advancement, I still do not want to trade places with them. I do believe that I have something of value that is hard to find, and that some employer somewhere is seeking that. I am also self-aware enough to recognize what I am missing, and to have a plan to bridge that gap.

With that, I wish you all a very Happy International Women's Day! I hope all women the world over get to experience this amazing feeling of being cherished. To real women, across the world! Let's band together, shrug off the noise, speak up about what's important, and keep working on building ourselves up.