The social media conundrum

I think it is safe to say that every one of us (or at least those reading this) has been through the thought process of how to portray ourselves on social media. The common avenues of social media that I am thinking about are blogs, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Google and to a certain extent, WhatsApp. I have two or three of these accounts (notably not Facebook) and here is where I stand on blogging:

I started writing again since I have always enjoyed writing, ever since my school days when I used to be a voracious reader. I spent my tween and teen years lost in a fantasy world as part of my introverted personality. I really enjoyed this world and the ability to let my imagination run free and wild. I used to write very hesitatingly for our school magazine after a lot of coaxing and prodding by my English teacher. I also took part in a few literary fests. I have often turned to writing notes to myself or using pen and paper (or a keyboard) to sort out my thoughts. I continued doing this over the years.  

The other side of my personality is the hesitation to expose my thoughts to the outside world for fear of “What would others think?” This is one of the feelings that did not let me enjoy Facebook. It also led me to hide my school magazine from friends and family out of fear that they would read that one article that I wrote that had my name on it! I often feel like I have to hide my real personality on social media (it can be argued that many don’t show their “real” selves on social media anyway), and only expose a slice of “regular” life activities on there. 

Another twist to the story is that I only face this conflict with personal writing. I often write for my job in the form of papers, presentations, articles, blog posts and more. I think that I am good at articulating my thoughts and expressing them both on paper as well as through talks and presentations. I am comfortable speaking in front of large audiences when the content is technical and familiar to me, and especially when it is something I am passionate about. So this tells me that it is not shyness that I face. It has something to do with a lack of confidence in myself, and putting my personality out there to be judged. There are also certain elements of not wanting to invite others into my personal world and to remain sheltered in privacy. Maybe I am just uncomfortable talking about myself. I would like to be more comfortable sharing my opinions, without crossing over into narcissism territory.

With blogging, I am faced with the following conundrum – to write for myself or to write for readers?

Like many bloggers, I have started out wanting to be “genuine” and true to myself, not writing for others or thinking about what would be popular or well received. It is a fine line, however. I don’t have a goal to promote my blog on social media, gather a following and make my brand. The current goal is just to be able to express myself, document a few of the thoughts and things going on in my world, and to make an entry into the world of blogging. With that said, I don’t know yet whether this blog is going to remain more of a “dear diary” journal or whether it will crystallize into something else. I also don’t know how anonymous I will remain. I have spent many years not writing, or writing and not publishing trying to figure this out. But for now, I have decided to just take the plunge and find my happy medium as I go.

There is no real relevance to the post above, but this is what is playing in a parallel track of my mind:

11:11 by Film School

I’m driving home with the sun in my eyes
I'm driving home with the sun in my eyes
That certain thing that you wanted hide
I figured out what you were trying to hide
You're out on your own
Don't you know you said you never should lie

Don’t you know you said you’d never survive

You wished for what you thought would make you strong
But now that wish has left you all alone
You're on your own
I'm driving home with the sun in my eyes
I'm driving home at the break of sunrise

[Followed by the best part – the noise! Ahhh]