My yoga journey

My introduction to yoga began at a very young age, watching my grandfather doing his daily yoga practice. He was all about good health, moderation and enjoying life. He used to tout the benefits of yoga to us throughout our childhood. In the beginning, we used to find it funny and play the ‘good for health’ game amongst us cousins. We would stand on the balcony watching the street below, call out loud the names of everything we saw and yell ‘It’s good for health!’ following that, as we broke into fits of laughter.

Later in life, we started listening more and exploring yoga ourselves. Watching my grandfather do his yoga on his red carpet that he rolled out every morning had a peaceful and calming effect on all of us.

It was part of the positive vibes that being around our grandparents gave us. Our grandmother's soft influence over all of us, our grandfather's endless inspiration, their bright and beautiful home, the green and lush gardens they used to maintain, the love and support that they gave their whole family (which led to a steady stream of visitors and well-wishers) – all of it was ingrained into us as part of our childhood and early adulthood memories. When I was pregnant with my first child, I spent some time at their home and could just feel the energy there. It was indeed my happy place.

A year after I left to the US, a friend in India recommended a yoga ashram to me that was close to my parents' home. On my next visit home, I enrolled for a class there. I enjoyed the unassuming and relaxing form of yoga that was taught there in a serene environment. I started my own practice at home in my apartment when I returned to the US. This began a daily 15-20 minute yoga routine that I do by myself at home and still hold very dear 15 years later. I have done it sporadically over the years and it is very relaxing with a few gentle stretches and twists but nothing strenuous. I have often stopped for months at a time, but always feel rejuvenated when I resume.

My grandfather recommended the Sarvangasana to me on one of my trips home. I found it incredibly beneficial but stopped doing it after getting pulsatile tinnitus. I hope I can find a way to resume it in some way. I also took a yoga class about ten years back, local to me, but I was aghast to find the intense workout and modified yoga that was being done in the US (in a huge packed stuffy gym hall no less). A couple of years back, a friend at work encouraged me to join her at our work gym and I took a few yoga classes there. This was quite a lot better but I couldn’t stay committed to the gym. I stopped my membership during my second pregnancy and haven’t been back.

A few days ago, my self-expression goal prompted me to join a local mom group’s yoga challenge. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to comment that I had signed up, and started posting regular updates. And just like that, I now have 5 days of “Yoga with Adriene” under my belt. I joined another online forum where they are doing the same 30-day challenge, and am trying to keep up with it. Getting my feet wet in the world of social media, influencers and the like has been eye-opening.

My goal for this challenge is to strengthen my body. I am tired of feeling weak and getting injured every time I strain a part of my body even slightly. I want to build core strength and overall strength. I am just not sure how to do this, since I get lower back pain, ulnar nerve pain, tendon/ligament pain in my heel, etc. that are aggravated during the practice. These are exactly the ailments I want to overcome by being stronger, but they are proving to be a hindrance while I am getting there. I am using my best judgement to push myself a little and to back off when I feel like I am getting hurt.

I am proud to note that I am committed and am five days in. I want to continue doing the daily yoga for at least another few days, to get through the anxiety-filled week that I have in front of me. To put it down on paper (or pixels if you prefer), this is the week two years back that ended with me rushing to the emergency room with a threatened miscarriage. The pregnancy went to term thankfully, but was fraught with challenges and was piggy-backing an actual miscarriage that I had. The following year in January had me back at the ER with a family member. Suffice it to say that this month is triggering to me and my health anxiety. I am looking for any and all distractions by way of positive goals and good habits to get through it.

I am currently looking for a yoga mat, but a part of me just wants my grandfather's red carpet to roll out every morning. I try to recreate the set up that he had, with open windows and greenery around. I hope that I can continue with my practice through the month of January and beyond. I appreciate the fact that my new self-expression goal has already led me to something positive. Perhaps this could have a domino effect into my career as well.

Have I mentioned that I have often done yoga to music? To me, yoga is about balance and harmony. Just like music! The two both help to bridge worlds, and are inter-related themselves. I like to do my yoga to center myself and to feel the connection between my physical and mental self. It also is a confluence of my spiritual and emotional worlds. I am someone who goes through each day feeling a rhythm of music and its vibrations. I believe this is all related - our breathing, vibrations, energy, thoughts, feelings, bodies, movements and our actions. Maybe even the outcomes!

I have often done yoga to “Stairway to heaven” by Led Zeppelin. I like the way it starts out slow, like my gentle yoga moves do, and then picks up the pace. I love it when music like this ends up in noise. I get a high from the climax and the resulting calm that follows. Apologies for crossing over a bit into erotic territory!

And, did I mention that I love shoegaze?! It is only fitting that I mention what song is playing in my living room everyday since I began this yoga journey. None other than “Only Shallow” by MBV. MBV = My Bloody Valentine. It is seductive, there's no doubt about it. But it is also about clever contrasts and coming up with something beautiful from it. This song shows you how to translate emotion into music. And that is exactly why I resonate with it. Oh no! I just played it on my phone on speaker (at very low volume) at my desk! That's how hooked I am to it. And I know I am reaching here, but "My yoga journey" has a similar ring to it as "My Bloody Valentine". With that, I'll leave you with a few lines from the song, although the lyrics don't matter. It is the music that speaks.

Think
That you grew
Stronger there
Speak
Your troubles
She's not scared

Only Shallow by My Bloody Valentine